Dragon Fizz

Dungeons & Dragons-themed soda will do nothing good to your hit points

There’s nothing that makes you work up a thirst quite like playing Dungeons & Dragons. The die has 20 sides! Do you know how much energy it takes to roll that thing?

That’s why the folks at Jones Soda have created a line of Dungeons & Dragons Spellcasting Sodas. The fantasy fizz is available in flavors ranging from Dwarven Draught to Potion of Healing to Sneak Attack to something called Bigby’s Crushing Thirst Destroyer. (We pity your thirst knowing what unholy pain Bigby is about to inflict upon it.) The only problem is that the names don't exactly explain what a soda called, for example, Sneak Attack might actually taste like. Our best guess is that it probably tastes like fear.

Carbonated fear.

Admittedly, you probably don’t play Dungeons & Dragons anymore. But don’t worry. The beverages have been officially sanctioned for consumption while pursuing modern day D ‘n D equivalents, such as dominating World of Warcraft or playing Magic: The Gathering or sitting around awkwardly and not talking to girls.

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